Concert review
G-A-Y club, Astoria Theatre, London, 27 September 2003
by Pádraig

I arrived at the Astoria theatre (where the club is based) at 11pm and as soon as I'm inside there are people sat on the front stage securing their place at the very front. Knowing how busy it would be I planted my feet at the very front and danced the night away to the very clubbed up versions of Say What You Want and I Don't Want A Lover every half an hour. Time seemed to drag and drag and I found myself looking at my watch every five minutes from 12am right up until the performance which was advertised as starting at 1:30am.

At 1am the Astoria staff made their announcement for everybody to clear the stage which was VERY exciting because it meant that Texas were bringing a full band as opposed to just a guitar or two. The half an hour between 1 and half past sped by as I, and the crowd, were fasciniated by the different objects being brought onto stage despite their being really quite simple things like guitar stands, mixing station, microphones and finally all the guitars.

At 1:40 the lights of the club changed to the lights of a show ready for action. A few adverts on the plasma screen advertised the upcoming acts such as Sophie Ellis Bextor, Emma Bunton, Sugababes, Atomic Kitten and finally (to deafening 'BOO!'s) Gareth Gates. The excitement overwelmed these rather insignificant adverts as the crowd surged forward trying to get as close to The Lady as possible.

A matter of seconds later and Jeremy Joseph, the owner and promoter of the club, appears on stage which to all those who have been before means that the act is literally around the corner.

"Good evening! It's been three years since their last appearence here but now their back with their huge single 'Carnival Girl'." At this point, the excitement is overwelming and the loudest cheers and shouting I've ever heard for an act (apart for maybe Kylie) deafen me. "Please welcome.." All eyes turn to the stage entrance.. "TEXAS!"

The lights change to a deep red as I continue to be absolutely deafened by screaming fans (mostly lesbians!). We see a figure appear from the side and it's Mark One. He moves himself behind his mixing station and adjusts his headphones. But wait... we see another figure... a VERY curvacious figure... dressed in a camp bright orange jump suit... 'Elvis' sunglasses... sporting a Chrissie Hynde hairstyle... oh my god... finally Sharleen appears. I really can't believe my eyes. She is followed by the very UNshy Ally and Tony on guitars who seem to be basking in the attention from the gay men.
"Hellooooo.." Her deep voice echoes through the club as I am totally squashed and submerged by screaming lesbians. Before saying anything else she raises her hand to indicate the start of the beat. With a 'ha ha'... 'ha ha' we recognise Say What You Want. But this was very different and very reminiscent of the Brixton with Madonna set. Singing over Mark One's mixing she performs Say What You Want with sass and style and perfect vocals. Before she can hit the last note the crowds drown out all the noise from the stage which makes Shar giggle.
"Welllll..." She says. "Long time no see! How are you doing?" She knows this will set off a huge reaction and indeed it does much to her obvious delight. "Do you want to hear a new song?" The answer was an resounding 'YEAAAAAAA'. "Okay... but you've got to bear with us because this is the first time we've played these so if we get it wrong don't put on a stroppy hissy gay fit!" The audience errupts into laughter at Shar's cheeky humour.
At this point, I'm on tenter-hooks.. will I like the new sound? "This.. is 'And I Dream'." The electro sound blares out from the guitars and I am blown away... both by the sound and Shar's vocals. This is track breathtaking and edging on my favourite ever Texas track.. but I remind myself that there's other new tracks to come. As she finishes on a loud and perfectly in tune "And I dreaaaaaaaam." We, the audience, jump and dance and shout in delight.

Many gifts are thrown onto the stage and Shar accepts them all and puts them to the side for her to collect later. As Shar turns back to the audience a very large bra is catapulted at her which puts her in hysterics. "Ohh I saaaay.." she giggles in her angelic Scottish voice. "What do you want me to do with it? You want me to wear it?" This causes another eruption amongst the lesbian crowd. "But I've already got one on! Want to see it?" She actually looks quite shy and timid at this point which isn't the Shar we're used to seeing but she giggles all the same. Tony and Ally encourage Shar along so she grabs the jumpsuit and quickly opens it to reveal her black top.

She puts her newly acquired bra to one side and picks up that famous black guitar strumming a few chords. "This is Summer Son." The crowd go wild and the theatre shakes as Sharleen sets off a 'jumping' trend. This is a classic performance and one that I've missed! Her vocals have improved which pleasently surprises me as Summer Son is a difficult song to sing and requires the correct vocal tone which Shar has got down to a tee.

"Now then. Who likes telephone sex?" I go into a fit of hysterics at this point at Sharleen's bluntness. "Quite a few of you obviously.." She giggles. "So who wants my number?" At this point I realise just how sexuality-friendly Sharleen is. She adores playing up to the gay audience and is really comfortable with the attention. "So come on boys... who wants Ally's number?" I again fall into hysterics. He gets a huge cheer from the guys. "And... who wants Tony's number?" As I'm stood nearer Tony I decide to shout for him. Sharleen loves it.. the competitions that she's reknowned for on stage. "Ohh we've got a competition going here! Now... if you want Ally.. shout now." *crowd shouts* "And if you want Ally.. shout now!" *crowd shouts*. Once she's stopped laughing she declares Tony the winner to which he looks delighted with a huge grin plastered on his face. "Okay okay okay! This is Telephone X!" Great!!!!! I can't wait to hear it... will it live up to their fantastic preview of And I Dream? And oh my god, does it! I'm almost in tears as I jump around to this brand new sound and already I can tell that this is going to be one of Texas' best albums. I'd rather not explain all about the song and let you hear it for yourselves with the guarentee that it's fantastic.

Sharleen relaxes for a few minutes by chatting to her adoring crowd and points to a couple in the audience... "You! You two!" All heads turn to two young guys. "You've been snogging for the last four fu*king songs!!" This sets us all of laughing again and embarrasses the living daylights out of the two guys. "But you know what I say... as long as you enjoy it!" She says that with a genuine smile. One of the 'loud mouths in the audience' is now shouting over Sharleen's general conversation so she turns sharpely and says.. "Hey... shut the f*ck up!" I die with laughter because that's the thing with Sharleen... she's not afraid to speak her mind.. I admire that in her! Donning her guitar once more she says, "This is Black Eyed Boy." Yay!! Now this is the song that is going to prove to my friend that I brought along who doubted Sharleen's vocal ability that she is one of the world's greatest singers. The big build up to the final few notes and she screams out 'you don't know... you don't know what you'll find' with her classic holding of 'find' for about 20 seconds of powerful vocals. The crowd erupt into vociferous applause and then fall silent waiting to hear her complete the song... 'you don't know what....... what you'll find.'. Her high vocal tone could melt an iceberg as everyone melts in themselves.

Sharleen is always one to entertain both by singing and making conversation. She makes the transition between songs seemless with her unique attitude to life and humour. Making us laugh some more she announces her final song. "We're going to play one more song.." The audience shouts 'Nooooooo!'. "Well just how many songs DO you want?" This brings mixed numbers but none lower than 2... and one guy even shouts 10 which makes Sharleen smile. "But hang on.. we've got a flight at 3pm tomorrow... how will we get there? Does anyone want to give us a lift?" You can guess the reaction!
The backing track mixed by Mark One begins and Carnival Girl is in full flow. Sharleen's smooth effortless vocals make this song a delight to listen to. She even does some of Kardinal Offishall's rapping for him over his backing track. She completes the song by acapella 'come on let's get down tonight' reapeating again and again which just makes us want more and more. Perfect.

Finishing with a smile she says, "Thank you so much. You've made us feel so welcome and we can't wait to come back again. Good night! Thank you!". Before she disappears Jeremy Joseph presents her with a bunch of roses and saying.. "Sharleen... I've got to ask you this... will you perform some more songs?". She laughs and shrugs indicating, "Sure..".
Jeremy disappears from the stage and Ally and Tony reappear and take up their positions.. "We'll do two more for you.." she says picking up her guitar. They play another exciting new song called 'Broken' which was very rocky/Mother's Heaven which got the crowd going once more as they head towards the end of their set.

"Now.. I've not sung this for a while... so help me out..." And the final song begins.. the chords blast out of the speakers and we instantly recognise Inner Smile. She moves around in her Elvis pose and at this point she has taken off her sunglasses at the request of one of the girls at the front. And finally... she moves to the very front lower platform of the stage and walks along touching her fans. I get to touch her leg and her hand as she walks up and down blaring out Inner Smile with complete perfection.

Now the reality dawns on us that the end is nigh and she thanks her adoring crowd and disappears with the rest of the band.

What a night.
Pádraig

SETLIST:
Say What You Want
And I Dream
Summer Son
Telephone X
Black Eyed Boy
Carnival Girl
Broken
Inner Smile



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