Tex messaging
from Boyz - 27 September 2003

She can froth up a lesbian at fifty paces, was once voted Person Most Wanted at Pride ahead of Madonna and Kylie and can carry off a pit boot and a Chrissie Hynde haircut like no-one since, erm, Chrissie Hynde. Texas are back, and Sharleen Spiteri wants to talk pointy tits, lezzers'; bras and gang-banging Tellytubbies.

So, is being a mum everything you expected it would be?
Yeah, honest to God, it's so good. I always wanted kids. I kind of see myself as one of those people who has lots of kids about them at Christmas and be, 'Let's all put the Christmas decorations on the tree! Get down! Get your fingers out of that!'

The press loved to get a photo of you in a maternity outfit, didn't they?
Yeah. How boring is that? I was like the comedy bump. If you looked at me from the back I looked normal. But then I'd suddenly turn sideways and it was like, 'Comedy bump!' But you know, I had an eight pound, seven ounce baby – I had a big fucker.

Did you get nice big hooters while you were knocked up?
They were gigantic! I've never, ever wanted big tits. I looked like vinegar tits, really pointy. They were agony. And Ashley [boyfriend and magazine bigwig] was like, 'Bah! I never went out with you because you had big tits. I'm not about to start liking them.' It wasn't a good look.

Are the songs on the new album all mumsy?
It's quite a dirty album. Nothing's about motherhood.

They say pregnant ladies get horny, don't they?
Yeah, it's a fact. I'll verify it and back it up. That was what came out in the songwriting more than anything else. Plus, I didn't want to put out a record about babies. I think you can talk about babies a certain amount, but then it's really boring. What interest will everyone else have in you and your fucking baby?

And you're working with Trevor Horn. Very t.A.T.u!
The t.A.T.u. record he did is a fucking great record. We'd written 'Telephone X', and we just thought it was really, really good. So we thought, 'Let's do it with Trevor Horn and see what happens'. He's such a perfectionist, and a lot of what we do is about capturing the moment, so we'd be like, 'yeah, that's great'. Then Trevor would say, 'no, it was slightly out-of-time'. But we'd think that that was what made it so good.

Is the telephone ringing at the start of 'Telephone X' a Blondie homage?
Of course it's a homage to my lady, Debbie. I love her. Did you hear that she gave me some of her dresses? I've got the really famous ones, like the 'Heart Of Glass' one.

Were you listening to a lot of Blondie when you were doing the new record?
I know Blondie back-to-front, upside-down, legs-behind -my-head. I don't even have to switch them on – I know every lyric, every melody.

What's with the whole Ramones 'n' Doctor Marten's look?
I don't have DM's on! They're not DM's! They're pit boots. I've always liked a dirty pit boot.

That's your lesbian side coming through.
I can't help it. I'm doing G-A-Y this week. That'll be so good, I love a bit of G-A-Y. I loved it last time. The girls kept throwing these big bras at me. I was like, 'What am I supposed to fucking do with these?' One of them was all washed out and grey - it was minging. I said to the audience, 'This is the most minging bra I've ever seen in my life! Have it back!' It was really funny, a good night.

How far did you have to look to find a dance hall star who wasn't homophobic for the new single?
I know! It's interesting us having that with such a big gay following. I think the whole ragga thing has changed and attitudes aren't what they used to be. I think people are a lot more educated and open-minded than they used to be. I think everyone's kind of got to grips with everyone and it's like, 'You know what? If that's what you're into, fine.' I mean, I can't believe we've got a ragga guy on Radio 2! It's great, because we've been so influenced by black music. We've never taken from it and been dismissive of where it's come from. We've always worn that on our sleeves, so it's very cool when the black community tell you they love what you do. It's like when people ask how you feel about being a lesbian icon: to be loved by the lesbian community is a bigger compliment than some straight guy going, 'Phwoar!' There's no reason behind it other than they actually genuinely like it; it has more substance.

What's it like being so rich?
Fantastic, basically.

And so famous?
The thing with me is that I'm not really interested in being famous. That's part of my problem. I just don't give a flying fuck about being a celebrity. People are like, 'I've always wanted to do this', and they don't mean singing, they mean being famous. You know, suck Bill Clinton off, you'll be famous!

Do you swear like this around Misty?
At the moment, because she can't really repeat it.

I bet you're an expert on the Tellytubbies by now.
Well, Po's actually Mummy's favourite. We've had these mental conversations about the fact that the purple one is actually gay. It tells you in the Parents' Guidebook, but it doesn't actually say he's gay; it says, 'Tinky Winky is a boy and he's allowed to carry a handbag!' So it's okay for boys to carry handbags and have big fancy Boy George hats, but he's not gay? Look, fucking stop lying to the kids! Have you seen them humping each other, the Tellytubbies? I've seen them rolling around with the voiceover going, 'The Tellytubbies love each other very much'. It's like one big gang bang! It's pure filth on television!

The single, 'Carnival Girl', is released on 6 October. The album, Careful What You Wish For, is out on 20 October. Texas appear at G-A-Y on 27 September.


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